2011年3月27日星期日

The Regression Theory

Me:
Mum..will you and dad switch off the light for tonight 8.30 to 9.30 ? Earth hour..

Mum:
OKLAH, though ma a bit scared of the dark :-(

Me:
Go have chat with daddy lah..since me and bro is not around, you two can cuddle morenaturally..just one hour, your future scientist son will be glad.

Mum:
HO LAH :-D

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Okay, that's a very interesting conversation, a very solid evidence showing that my mom is very cute and she is physically growing older but growing back to the younger age mentally. Both me and daddy agreed the ways mummy approach things and ability of socialize were regressing, back to the 10 years old 'Ah Girl' way. She read a lot of self-enrichment books, ironically she can't really apply it in her life, in some way. Sometimes I even have to correct her and giving her advice.

So, this is my 'Regression Theory' that came out with


We always have to 'Tam (cantonese)' her to make her happy.Bringing my mum going out to shopping center and restaurant is like bringing a young girl to explore the world. I need to hold her hand, I need to point her where to go, I have to make sure that she don't lost her way out, I have to tell her what food is nice and what is not, brining her to eat new food that she never had before. I never know she like creamy cakes and ice cream that much until I bring her out few months ago (noticed that ice cream and cakes are food that fancied by little girl ?). The thing that don't changed is that she is still paying. How she took care of the younger me then, was applying back to her now. And I feel good. Obviously she is in a phase of her life where nothing else matter except for her two handsome boys and her hubby.

She is a lucky woman because she married my daddy, which always back her up and gives her lessons about life. We like babysitting my mum and making sure that she can do everything she can do like an 10 years old girl without being hurt.

My mum is not a good listener. My mum is capable of creating awkward situation during a conversation with people, but not me. My mum always overreacting. My mum has too much feelings and she is very emotional. My mum always worry over small little stuffs and me. My mum can be easily cheated or amazed or flattered by some cheap talks and tricks. It's like giving her a candy and she will compromise. Sounds like some typical characteristic of some 10 years old girl ain't it ?

When I was young, she is my mum and I am her baby boy. When I was at 10, both my mum and I were monster. When I was 17, my mum is like my friend. And now I will be 20 soon, and she is like my daughter and she behaves like one. Funny, but it's true.

I don't care if she cooked the same meal to me everyday. She don't care if I always being harsh on her whenever I am correcting her. What matters the most is that she is my mum and I'm her boy, she loves me and I love her. And that's it.

2011年3月14日星期一

再写病语

哎呀,我就是这么的脆弱。

不小心就这样生了一场病。首先就先发烧,之后就开始喉咙痛,再之后就来咳嗽。典型生病三部曲。

死去活来之际还是没有人会同情你。Assignment没有因为你生病有extension,分数还是一样多,数量也是没有减少,反而在你生病的时候做起assignment会更加烦人。首先必须找资料,之后就是一系列的阅读,之后就开始敲键盘。最糟糕的部分就是referencing。现在才第二个学期的第三个礼拜的第一天,我已经有了四个assignment,其中两个要在第四个礼拜截止。要是把四天分别让给四个不同的assignment(好要假设一天能够完成一份),我还剩下三天的时间来复习四个科目。还没有加上每一科的quiz。Monash就是有那种把人逼疯的能力。只有活得比它更疯才能生存下来。

周某生病事小,日本地震海啸才是大事。

可怜的日本,太平洋放了一阵臭屁就死了这么多人。还好人类还有恻隐之心,无能为力的我们至少都还会为日本祈祷,希望寻获更多生还者,但就是有鸟人。地球这么大,鸟人却偏偏来自像鼻粪那么小的马来西亚。就是那个该死的马来报纸Berita Harian在发表了一张漫画。那张漫画引用日本出名的卡通英雄咸蛋超人,在那个漫画家的笔下,咸蛋超人在逃跑着,后面有海啸追着它。


哇唠,现在死这么多人很好笑是不是?这种行为真的是很要不得,也是大马新闻界的一种羞耻。这则新闻还上CNN的网站。马来西亚就是因为某些人脑残的举动被人家讲衰的。多么的脑残,多么的幼稚,多么的不成熟。

坦白说我真的不喜欢这种很多人死的坏消息,也应该没有人会喜欢这种新闻,可惜有时候生命就是如此脆弱。一个月前地球打了个喷嚏,纽西兰就地震了一下,然后也是死了很多人。或者是坠机事件,机上人无一幸存。爆炸案,水灾等等都在夺着无辜的性命。每当一读到这种新闻心里就好像被什么东西揪了一下那样。那些死去的人醒来时都不知道那是他们生命中的最后一天。

我的心情?就不太好咯。因为生病,再加上死了这么多人,再加上很多很多的assignment。唯一值得高兴的就是我参加了大学的拉丁舞蹈课。

在收笔之前,我希望世界在我醒来后变得更美好。

2011年3月10日星期四

随写

没有改变的:

第一,自己的食欲还是没有在家里那么好,虽然有时觉得很饿,但是就是不想随便吃东西。很显然是被芙蓉的食物宠坏了。

第二,那种很依赖网络的生活还是没有改变。缓慢的网速还是一样是我发疯,虽然表面还是故作镇定。

第三,还是一样过着德古拉爵士的生活。虽然很想改变,但是没有睡意时躺在床上就只能滚来滚去,再加上最近的天气热到我睡眠时期的metabolism rate也稍微提高了一些。

有改变的:
第一,头发变长了。

第二,重新开始觉得有些压力,重新回到那种被lab report和assignment虐待的日子。那种生活好像永恒便秘一样难受。

第三,重新开始在睡觉前看书。但是和以前稍微不同的是,现在睡前小读会让我变得更加精神。文字是新的咖啡因。

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可能是我老了,我真的不喜欢很吵很没有意思的音乐。对不起,我不喜欢Lady Gaga,我不喜欢Justin B,我不喜欢G6,我不喜欢有很多Bass咚咚咚的那种音乐,我会听到很烦。我喜欢比较轻松的,古典,老歌,和一些选出来的小摇滚。

可能是我老了,我不喜欢很多图案或有很复杂字眼的衣服,书包,鞋子等等。我开始喜欢格子,线条,单色。我开始不喜欢东西有多余的设计。

可能是我老了,我开始为小事情烦恼几天。也这么巧最近倒霉得很(桌灯坏,电话坏,大学电脑有时印不到东西...),很多事情给我烦恼。

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那天上课,老师很残酷地告诉我,音乐里技巧和感觉是很难两者兼优的。一就是把技巧练好,然后弹得像机器那样,或者是弹得没那么好,却玩出自己喜欢表达的感觉。哈哈,对我这样有兴趣没天分的小子,当然觉得很残酷。对于能在技巧和感觉找到完美的平衡点的自然就是受大家认同的完美音乐家。所谓完美,不是一百巴仙,而是互相比较之下能呈现得最好的就是完美了,毕竟世上没有十全十美。

我们活着其实就是一直在寻找着这个平衡点。你想要好成绩却不想读书读到对自己过不去。你很想赚很多很多钱却不想有很多很多工作。你很想吃得好却又很不想花钱。其实我们见到那些生活很自在很轻松的人大致上都是已经找到了这个平衡点的人。活着,就是为了找到这个平衡点。

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至于大学生活嘛,第一堂生物课时就被通知有assignment了。哇唠!下课后去检查,结果真的是有assignment。一堂课就有assignment了,前所未有。然后就是很新鲜很复杂的Physiology,前几堂课听得傻傻的,因为人体的神经系统真的很复杂,结果自己需要多加复习。Biotech就没什么特别,毕竟只是加了一些新东西,而且满熟悉的。我打算这个学期参加大学舞蹈协会,很想尝试新东西。

最糟糕的就是在吃了Jogoya过后回到家就无端端生了一场病。发了一场十年都没试过这么辛苦的烧。整个晚上躲在被窝里,睡睡醒醒之下还在发恶梦,关节又酸痛,退烧了马上就咳嗽了。

生病也好,不生病也好,心情好或不好,雨天或晴天,lecture还是要上,assignment还是要交。日子不爽也要过,很爽也要过,就试看爽爽过吧。

2011年3月1日星期二

The Seven Miseries

Just weeks ago, I was expecting a brand new life, more precisely - the revival of my previous meaningless and miserable university life. I had a strong feeling that this semester will be an awesome one. The awesome orientation week even turned me on.

However things changed after I had my first day of my second semester. I felt that my expectation is wrong.

Here's why. First of all, I don't have a proper form of transportation that enables me to carry myself around the USJ and PJ. I changed my chemistry lab to the morning session on Monday, 9am. I had a chill when I thought of walking to University early in the morning for almost everyday in a week. Walking to university and sweat the hell out of yourself is definitely not a goal of my 'Perfect University Life'. Walking to university is dreadful, walking to university is even worse when it rains or it's too hot.

Second thing is that I feel so empty and I can't anticipate what will happen next in Monash University. It's probably because of some parts of my fragile heart don't have a little something that can boost yourself up - confidence. I feel that everything is tough. I feel that I can't handle all the subjects except for biology. I don't know, my manly and confidence mojo was gone.

The third miserable thing is that I have to fncking perform an autopsy on a fncking frog ! Oh unholy fangs of Edward Cullen, how in hell can I able to do that ? I am afraid of frogs ! I have goosebumps whenever it nears me. I scream when it nears me (and I still remember the not-funny prank did by my friend in high school and I screamed like I'd been diagnosed of having cancer). I think that before I manage make it unconscious, I might already dead by then.

The fourth miserable thing is that I am a coward. I am losing my ability to socialize with people, slowly. Actually all I need to do is nod my head, smile and say hi with a deep and cheerful tone. I don't even know how to approach that sweet girl, it seems impossible. I am getting awkward in having conversation and communication with people and that's the fourth miserable thing that bugging me. Sweet but unreachable, just like the sweet and sour taste of grapes or kiwi fruit.

The fifth misery. Lab reports and assignments. Wrestling with the lab reports and assignments is one of the toughest thing you can do in Monash. No excuse for not to passing up your lab reports, no extension given, no mercy. My seniors told me that the reports and lab works for first year are nothing, compare to second and third year. It's so speechlessly down when you spend all day working on the report or assignment and searching for reference all night long, sacrificing your sleeping time and get a sorry grade in the end.

The sixth misery is that my next break will only be on 25th of April, and it's just one week long, and after the break it will be exams and stuffs that makes your life monotonous and lifeless. And now, it's only the 1st of March. Darn it.

The seventh misery and this is a pretty small one. I am forced to control my frequency of earphone usage but I can't help, I love music too much. I know it's not good for my ears. Listening to nice music is like your ears are having intense orgasm.

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Yes, I feel unhappy with my current life. What's the point of living, if life is so dull and meaningless, with the absence of love and smile ?